Monday, February 18, 2008
A Passing Feeling (I know, I couldn't think of a better title)
You know that fragile feeling that you get when you’re about a drink and a half away from an actual hangover? That vaguely unstable, shaky feeling where the world is slightly too sunny and you have just the faintest ghost of a headache, and the slightest twinge of queasiness. And you know that if you had had just one drink more, just one less glass of water the night before, you would be absolutely fucking miserable today. You stumble out of bed around noon or later, and go out to face everybody. That first walk outside after partying the night before is always daunting for me. For one thing, it’s inevitably fucking bright outside. Well, I am in California, after all. But it still seems like it’s mocking me.For another, I’m always somewhat reluctant to meet the people I hung out with the night before. I think Terry Pratchett said it best, but I don’t have the actual quote on hand, so I’ll try to paraphrase: That feeling when you got absolutely smashed the night before and jumped on the table, and started singing those songs that were screamingly funny at the time, and you know you have to go out and see all those people again today, and when you look them in the eyes, you’ll both remember, but the difference is that you’ll both be sober this time. Not that I did anything hugely embarrassing (I hope) last night, but still. There’s always that initial hesitance when you wake up and your memory’s all foggy and jumbled up, but you do remember that one incident, or two, involving that guy and the beer, and you sincerely hope he doesn’t. Like Pratchett says, it was so funny last night, but now that you’re wrapped in a cloud of sobriety once again, you just can’t see the humor anymore. And that’s really, I suppose, why sobriety sucks. Because you take life too seriously, and you start making stupid judgments and bad decisions, and generally making a fool of yourself.
Because, see, that’s what you do when you’re drunk, but I’m being all clever, and trying to make the same point about being sober. I’m sorry, I just wasn’t sure hit you over the head with the Great Sledgehammer of Unsubtlety enough to get the point.
Anyway, I’m holed up in my dark cave of a dorm room, with the aforesaid fragile feeling, sipping tea and writing this, because I really don’t feel like writing my math paper right now. I’m also listening to a mix I made that I’m actually quite proud of. It’s the Alcoholic Letdown Mix, for situations exactly like this one. The day after a party, when you’re experiencing the pains of the booze leaving your system, and sitting around, saying “Now what?” It includes, of course, the best hungover music I could find, such as classic Modest Mouse and Ugly Casanova ("Things I Don't Remember," anyone?), The Department of Eagles (probably the most soothing music I’ve ever found. And, of course, not to be confused with the Eagles), Eels, Wilco, etc. Mostly chill stuff. It almost goes without saying that Elliott Smith, and the Mountain Goats are represented, as well as various other good songs by other artists that fit the idea of the mix.
I’m not sure why I’m going on about this. It’s not that original of a mix, I know, but it’s rare for me to make mixes that aren’t totally second-guessed and over-thought. In short, it’s hard to make a mix that my insecurities don’t eventually ruin. This one just felt right.
It's a rare feeling for me. I'd like to keep it.
Spudge at 11:34 PM
1 Comments
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at February 25, 2008 at 10:26 AM
fancythatt said... I love you, and you are very clever. YOU ARE CLEVER.
Now that I have blank CD's, I should make some mixes. Mmyep.